we just finished our last week in Kampong Thom and i’m filled with a lot of different emotions. filled with joy to see my squad again, and sorrowed to leave these beautiful children and our new friends. excited to eat at all my favorite places in siem reap, and still soaking in all the simplicity of ordering a coffee and a sugar donut to our house here. this house we live at now rings of the word simplicity.
it’s not simple in the ways you would think- we have no way to cook food except for a borrowed kettle, our clean water is at the neighbors house, we all have lice, and sewage water keeps leaking onto lexie and i’s bedroom floor, because the toilet is just in the corner of the room. yet living here is just…different. intentionality like i haven’t experienced it before, hours and hours of bonding over the kung fu panda movies through lice treatments, mid day naps in a 90 degree room where the fan feels just as good as the Lord himself, and the overwhelming feeling i get from walking into ministry and being greeted with the biggest smiles and tightest hugs from my favorite students on the planet. i’ve been able to experience the presence of the Lord in a new way here.
i tend to beat myself up for not knowing what to say or what to do. i pray and have no words. i go to write this blog and i feel like i haven’t processed enough to let other people know what’s going on. every word written on these is truly something straight from the Spirit because i never know what’s going on. through this, i’ve been learning more of how to just sit. to just sit and rest in the arms of the Father. today i sat with God and painted a mural on one of the school walls. we didn’t say much, but i felt His presence just as strongly as any other time. He sent two butterflies in the span of time that i was painting, small reminders of His presence and simplicity. i’ve found such a new joy in being able to approach the throne without having anything to say, but just to feel his nearness. rest has been restored with every new day here on the race, which is something i was scared of having to say the opposite. i am no shortage of exhausted after every full day of ministry, sometimes to the point where my words of prayer won’t even come out of my mouth. i’m just reminded of how beautiful a picture it is to sit at the Father’s feet. i also am reminded of times my students will come up to me and give me a hug that is different from all the rest. i can see in their eyes and feel in their hearts when they just need love, even if i can’t speak to them or understand their struggles. i figure if i can do that, the Lord in all his knowledge and power and comfort holds his arms wide open for me to just rest in. and for that i rejoice.
“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.”
Psalms 91:1
